the one where she's back after like. forever.

Hello out there!!!!

I'm terrible and really, really shameful!
Its been a thousand years (more like 3 months), it a shame ha?!
Anywho, I hope everyone out there is awesome plus a thousand and well...happy new year seeing as it is my first post of the year! I'm embarrassed really.
So much has changed in my life, its so strange.
Ok, so firstly....I live in joburg now!! Yay! I'm doing my postgrad and its been an amazing change.
Also,

I'm engaged!! I'm gonna fill in very soon! Be good n take care!!!!
I

The one with last minute shopping...and goodbye 2008..

Wow, and just like that...the years is over.


Let me tell you what i was doing last year this time. I had just finished packing every single thing that belonged to me in Australia and determined to move back to Africa. No one could convince me otherwise and yet everybody tried (to thier credit, my dad, bff Bumble Bee were the only people who didnt try). I didnt stop crying for the entire time i was packing.
I have to say it was all worth it. Every seed of doubt planted by every person who told me i as making a mistake. All of it, because i am an african and africa is where i feel free to be and do what i want. I can honetsly say that i have never doubted my decision, even in my low points.

Now, i was gonna do a review of this year, but, as it just so happens...im hungover, and Theo Walcott is in the best most playful mood ever and i cant concentrate.
I will however, do what im used to doing and what i do best....make some lists!!

Ladies and Ladies (lets face it, i doubt any guys read my blog) i present to you...list uno:

The top 3 highlights of 2008:

3. Quitting my Job.
Its was scary and a bit rash at the time, but it happened just in time for me to land my job i have now where i actually have health benefits, was allowed 10 days off for xmas, despite working there for only 4 months, greatgreat great travel opportunities, soooo much experience, a really strict but well of knowledge type boss (who bought me a blackberry for my birthday), great money even though im not fully qualified for but the boss was willing to give me a go. I also met my great (but nigerian) boyf through the job and...i think thats it.

2.My birthday weekend.
Not only was i working at the MTv African Music Awards, Kelly Rowland, The Game, D'banj and Flo Rida all said happy birthday to me (granted. I did keep telling everyone it was my birthday...and i was shitfaced), also, I got Diamonds (real--non conflict), a tonne of perfumes from clients and i found out i share a birthday with Miley Cyrus (that last bit is just a fact that i was secretly excited about)...and mostly...

1. I BECAME A MOTHER...
to healthy baby boy named THEO WALCOTT. He is a pitbull puppy and he was born on the 8th of november and he came into my life on the 23rd. He is the first thing thats really mine and even though i didnt physically give birth to him..he is the love of my life and no lies...the maternal gene kickec in (i didnt even know i had one) immediatley and what makes me love him is the love i see in his eyes when he looks at me! Ah, bless. I carry pics of him around with me everywhere and people cant believe how much we look alike!


other highlights of the year include:

going to work drunk almost every friday morning and then scheduling a fake meeting and going into the conference room to sleep it out.

the boyf.

the girls i have become oh so tight with in lagos...having moved here, not knowing a soul except for the dad and the stepmom...i have met some amazing, strong, independant women. they have really brought quality to my life and laughter in abundance.

the guy friends i made. the two (count them) men in lagos who have never tried to do anything and who i can tell genuinely enjoy my company, they are crude, and silly, and rude and so soft and real. I heart them!

Dakar. Beautiful place. Amazing Amazing place. I left knowing 7 more french phrases than i did before i got there. Men are beautiful to look at if you're into the Tall Dark (no jokes there...im talking midnight dark) and Handsome...and they speak french.

Did i mention my son? Theo Walcott?

The real Theo Walcott Scored a hatric for england.

i got into the gradschool i wanted.

i have gotten very far in my belief in the universe and God and my spirituality. Some of the things that happend to me were thing i literally thought about getting and threw the thought out to the universe and it was brought back to me tenfold. I believe in the power of the human mind, combined with the power of God...don't ever think anything...ANYTHING is out of your reach!

I became better friends with the stepmother. She's human...which was really nice to find out.

last but definately NOT least...
MY BLOG!!! it took a lot for me to get up and start one and i think its really come in handy. I looked back on some the posts i have had and aren't i a bit of a special case ha?!!
I have to admit it is an eye opening experience and one i am hoping will become bigger, better (updated) and funnier in the new year!


So....what are everyone's plans for the celebrations?
My family has never been big on New Years Eve, until i was 16 it was mainly at home just chilling!.

Christmas day is my dad's birthday, and this year i have a really cool gift for him...he's been complaining the whole year about technology and how people don't wrtie letters anymore, so i wrote him a letter, then gave it to the guy in the art dept at work and he's doing something on the computer that will make it painting size and look like it was painted (these computer guys are great ha?!)...and it will be in my original handwritting (let me say it again...these computer guys ha>!).
As for the stepma...i know she wants a handbag...i got her a Jimmy Choo bag that cost me WAAAAAYYYYYYY too much money , but im hoping that way she'll give me her car for xmas! Scratch my back...etc.

I am stuck on the boyf's present. I cant even decide. I was gonna get him a psp...but then cosmo (the magazine....and every young woman's frenemy!) told me that if i did that i can say goodbye to all forms of communication..so im online..tryna look for something (look, i know its the 23rd...u dont have to point out the obvious ok...im freakin as it is)...geez. My other issue is that i think he got me something totally sweet and gorgeous like a Chanel bag.. I mean, i knew i would have this problem thats why i told him...look babe, u dont have to go all out for Christmas prezzie coz number 1: you're Muslim (OH..i didnt tell u that?..he's MUSLIM..which could become a real issue in the future...for now we kinda just ignore it) and 2: you already gave me a beautiful baby...im content. But i think he thinks im being coy and that my words are code for i want something really cool...which it usually would be,,,but this time it really isnt. i swear.

SIDE NOTE:
Wait a minute...i just read that last paragragh back...let me get this straight: im freaking out and last minute ebay shopping for a fabulous Christmas present for my MUSLIM boyfriend who insists he doesnt want a gift??? Good. Thats what i thought.

Ok, and for Walcott...i got him an Arsenal Carpet for his makeshift abode...and...the highlight...a customised ARSENAL feeding bowl! Arent i awesome! Im pretty sure his first word is gonna be ARSENAL!!


Well..i better take my baby for a walk. Im not sure i'll be able to update before the new year


..so if i dont...people of awesome reading habits! May you have the fun and happiness you are deserving! Stay Safe and Be Good. I wish you all the best and really hope you enjoy the holidays!!!!

Until Next Year...let's make 2009 better than 2008 shall we?!!!!





Be good to you!

the one where i realise that being a mother is a 24/7 job..bless

Hey There Blog People..

Im in such a chipper mood today, i don't know why, its not like i've had the greatest past 48hrs but hey, im just a ray of sunshine. Natasha Bedinfield and i have that in common, i too, have a pocket full of sunshine!

Im in bed, yup, i have the most massivest (its a word..i swear, look it up!) flu in the world. Its so bad that i went in to work yesterday and at about 12 the boss walks into my office and says "umm, so im tired of hearing blow your nose and sneeze from upstairs..please save humanity and go home"...
hey, so i took some of the work i had to get done (ok..that last bit...totally not true, but wouldnt that have been super mature of me?)...and headed home.
I got into the house...there was no electricity and the generator was being serviced so i spent the whole afternoon swaeting like a christmas pig on christmas eve.

There is a bright side though...i ordered some chinese food, that was SO good, i ate about 12 dumplings (see that look on your face? thats judging, dont judge!!) and some nice spicy beef. I ate so much that i had to sleep on my stomach coz if i lay on my back i would have choked.

The other interesting thing about my afternoon as a slob was spending time with my precious baby Theo Walcott. He's really growing like crazy, i've only had him for about 2 weeks but he and i are just the best combination ever. we have so much in common. And he does this thing where he's terrified of the dark (so am i..we're a pair made in heaven) and even though he has a sweet little arsenal pillow to sleep on in my room, the second the lights go off...he's on my bed. Not only does he jump onto my bed (he's tiny so it takes about 3-4 jumps to make it)but he'll head for my face. like he cannot fall asleep until he is touching my face.
This didnt go down so well when the boyf slept over thursday coz i had to stop them kicking each other in the middle of the night. Kids.

I have also been making a serious effort to study up and begin the all important and difficult task of house training by beautiful baby boy.

*side not* i reckon at this stage i have to mention that my baby boy Theo Walcott is infact a dog..cute little puppy that the boyf got me for my birthday...*ok, continue*

ok, anywho, its not the greatest task ever, and esp when you have the flu, but it has to be done coz my dad is sick of screaming at me to tell my theo walcott to stop peeing in his bathroom..and his bed, and the kitchen..and..you get the point ya?

so far lil theo is doing well, i have to get up several times at night and make sure he hasnt accidentally pooped on my jimmy choos again! (u think i can afford jimmy choos?)..but he seems to enjoy being my child. He is gonna be spoilt and i love it. Too bad we're already off contraceptives and trying for another puppy!

ok, in other news, i just have to say..i cannot talk or think about my beloved zimbabwe without wanting to bawl my eyes out. These people, my friends, family, neighbours..they are being deprived of BASIC human rights. the right to food and water has become somewhhat of a priveledge in Zim...a nd now with the cholera outbreak and very few hospitals, even if you go to the hospital, there's no money to pay for treatment, and even if you have money its all in the bank and you can only take out the equivelant of 25US cents a day...not enough to get you back home let alone buy a loaf of bread. its appalling and it makes me feel helpless...like there's not a single thing i can do for those people we have left behind to suffer under a ruthless regime. i cry for you my beloved country and people...i may be hundreds of miles away, but you are never out of my prayers. I cry for you...my beautiful, beloved country.



*unwritten*

the one with the birthday update!

hello yall.

i hope everyone had a really good weekend and all that u planned happened just as you planned...me on the other hand, i had a fab weekend, even though nothing went the way it was planned!

Last time, i mentioned a list of things i'd be smiling about come monday. And well...i was glad i took the day off. That totally worked to my advantage because the boss woulad have fired me for coming into work late and drunk again (yes. I have done that before...long story!).
Which was fab coz my the boyf anf i got to stay in bed still drunk and be merry!

As far as presents went, i was spoilt rotten yo! I got a new blackberry from my boss (!!)...the the parental units went all out and got me the prettiest necklace ever..and a diamond purity ring from the dad..(he doesnt think om still a virgin does he?) and from the boyf...A PUPPY!!!!
A pitbull puppy!
Im a mummy! Yay!
His name is THEO WALCOTT, after my fave soccer player who plays for england and arsenal!! But those close to him shall refer to him as walcott. I am in love yo! And he loves me too!

Now, as for abuja, the awards and kelly rowland..well..

The boyf made us late to the airport on saturday morning and we missed the first flight, so i was 3 hours late to abuja and only got to work 3 hours after i was supposed to be there..now u know why i cant go to worj drunk anymore?

Anywho, i had to head straight to the venue so i told the boyf to go straight to the hotel and leave the bags and meet up with his pals..in retrospect...HUGE Mistake?

Im dating wats commonly known as a...heavy drinker. Instead, he freakin heads to the bar at the hotel and loses our luggage, when i get 2 the hotel. I have 30min to get ready..and no bags in sight..although..i did run straight into FLO RIDA on my way into the hotel! yummmy!

Ok, so bag ish sorted' i hurry, get ready, dress the boyf and we get outside the hotle and the car isnt therr..So im panicking and hop into another car with the boyf and some people we dont even know!

My boss freaked out at me i tell you! (but still gave me the blackberry!)

The boyf and his brother got to sit in my seats at the ceremony and watch the show...meanwhile, I was flipping out backstage and drinking champagne every 2secs. I heart a job where i can totally drink!

So that was the ceremony.

As for the afterparties...thats when i went from working girl to complete party girl and i let loose yall! The Game and Kelly (i can call her kelly now, but when i met her i was all about calling her kelly-rowland like it was one word!) were so cool.
Alas, kelly-rowland didnt offer me an invite to the new year eve party, but not to worry, she liked me so much that she kept telling the HUGE dude she was with about me and everytime i got close to her she kept pulling him over to stop the commoners from getting close to me and her..and showing me the exit...but thats only coz she didnt want everyone else to be jealous. Bless her soul!!

So, we left the parties at about 5am...our flight was at 1, do we had plenty of time, we headed to the hotel and fell asleep. Of course, we didnt freeakin set an alarm and got up at 12..so we missed that flight, but got on later one...with my boss!

Anywho, i had a great birthday. When we got home the parentals took me and a group of friends to dinner and we all got smashed, and i got my prezzies!

Then i went home with the boyf and there was WALCOTT..waiting! I love how the first time i met my baby, i was completely wasted..im gonna be a great mother!!

So...thats the summerised version of what was the weekend, what i didnt get to was telling you about how the boyf threw up on my bosses car, how the boyfs brother lost my car with his girlfriend in it (i have to say, im not having the greatest time with the boyfs brotherss and their significant others!)!!

So...i gotta get home and pick up walcott, im having serious seperation anxiety and have been calling the maid hourly so that she can put walcott on the phone so i can speak to him. Im afraid he'll forget me!!
So im gonna take him to the vet and then to visit his daddy at the office..i just cannot wait for him to pee in my car!!

Much love yall!


*unwritten*

The one where im totally at home on a friday night!

Hey there.



So...the boyf is at a champagne party..and i...I'm at his place (which recently became "our place"..but that's a story for another night)..alone.



I know. Sad ha? Well, i prefer to call it MAD LOVE! That and I'm in need of some serious rest, I've been working on this big thing for work, as a result I've been in between Lagos and Abuja for the last 2 weeks. This week alone i went to the Road to the MAMA (Mtv Africa Music Awards) concert on Tuesday, wed was in abuja the whole day, got back to Lagos Thursday morning and headed to a really good friends wedding. We partied all night and i got home at 5 this morning, dumb, coz i had to be at work at 10.
In a few words, its been a really long week and i just couldn't get up off of the sexy boyf's couch and get dolled up and make like a banana and split the dance floor!


So..i stayed in. And the boyf is out..


Now, let me tell you something, this is not what i was expecting i would be doing tonight. When i brought up the fact that i wasn't gonna go out tonight, i expected my loving, sweet, sexy man to be all:
"aw shame baby, I'll stay in with you, it wont be fun without you"

but instead i got:
"aw shame, here, I'll order Chinese (food) for you and I'm gonna tell the boys we can finally have a boys night...how great ha?!"

I know, I'm such a girl. I should have just told him i wanted him to do. Anyway, its too late now, and now I'm stuck here watching "Ghost Hunters" on the reality channel (ps..I'm terrified of the dark).


Anywho, onto more pressing issues and MUCH more interesting things...Sunday is my birthday!
And tomorrow is the MTV African Music Awards, and I'm totally going to Abuja tomorrow. I'm supper excited about the bday, its gonna be GOLD!..

i present to you...

The Top 5 things I'm gonna be smiling about on Monday (in a perfect world):

1. The fact that i decided to take Monday off work because i knew i would have a hang over the size of China having been drunk since Saturday morning.
2. The Cute puppy that the boyf got me for my birthday, that he's gonna give to me when we get back from Abuja.
3. Having met Kelly Rowland and she realises that we are like destined to be BFFs and swap numbers, and she invites me to her New Years Eve party where Beyonce and JayZ will be there and then we'll all be cool with each other.
4. The Diamond necklace that my dad got for me.
5. The boyf is totally gonna be licking my ass for leaving me at home by myself on Friday because he didn't get any the whole weekend and therefore got me that Dior watch I've wanted for a while!
6. I know...i said 5 but dude, MUNYA SOOOOOOO has to win Big Brother Africa!! WooHoo!

That's it for now.

OK, I'm gonna watch one of my fave movies: "The Devil Wears Prada", hopefully it will keep my mind off the stupid Ghost Hunter's thing, then I'll put my phone on silent and wake up tomorrow morning and find the boyf asleep at the guard's station coz i didn't wake up to let him into the house coz guess what...lady marmalade (that's who takes care of all karmic payback for women...u didn't know this???) threw me a pity bone and made the dumb-ass-hot-ass-shit (with flies) boyf forget his house keys with me!! LOSER!!!

Have a pleasant weekend cyber Bffs!

*Unwritten*

the one where i went to jozi..and took my baggage with me..

Its me!!!!

how is everyone doing?! I mean, i have to confess though, i know how everyone is doing coz well...i've just caught up on my blog reading!
Man, i feel like my life is one big YAWN compared to all yall!

Ok, so first things first, i just got back from jozi, i was there over the weekend. Ugh, as much as i heart jozi, i feel like i have to write a personal email to M.N. (mother nature)...seriously, the summer clothes are out, and im there to cause some serious damage to my under utilised credit card (imagine??--well, that's what happens when you live in Nigeria and cant use the Internet to purchase things and all you can do is resort to watching eBay auctions and wish you were bidding, but instead pick a team and hope that zero-pounds from Virginia gets the Versace dress!) and the weather is a measly 19degrees and its raining. Ugh.
But that didn't stop me from drinking alcohol like a college kid and dancing like i was alone in my room pretending to be Cameron Diaz in Charlies Angels (formal apology to all those who had to witness this..really, I'm truly sorry).

Because i only get to go shopping in jozi maybe once every two months or so, i am meticulous with my plan. I hit up Eastgate...and then head to the Rose. I hit up the Truworths and the Woolworths and Y.D.E and boutiques first...and then when i see that i only have R500 between me and walking back to OR Tambo Int Airport i head straight for MR PRICE where i spend every last dime and come out of there with double what i got in the other stores and 10kg excess baggage...i love travelling alone and doing things like this alone. Its so theraputic i reckon

This time though, was a little different for me...i came with my own extra baggage (not counting the F*cking 6 kilos i've gained in the last 3 months---even though I've been hittin the gym every other other day or so...ish)...i brought another human being with me...THE BOYF.

Now, listen, this is the first time i have ever travelled with a significant other...and i think it went pretty well. Let me re-phrase that... we only had 3 awkward moments...2 squabbles (read: arguments that could have escalated into huge fights if we weren't in another country and in the presence of other normal human beings)...got lost twice and i discovered 2 MAJOR personality flaws about the boyf.

Yup. I travelled with the boyf. Now, bear in mind, we have only been together for almost 3 months and things have been moving pretty fast. So, here's how this came about.

I say "oh man, i have 3 weddings coming up and i totally need to go shopping, not to mention, i need to get out of Lagos"....the boyf: "awesome, i'll come with you!"...me: "hahahahahahaha" the boyf: "cool, shall we stay with my brother or a hotel or your friends??"... first realisation about the boyf: HE'S A PLANNER!!

Now, I'm not sure if any of you have ever travelled with a significant other, but this being my first time, i was way out of my comfort zone. We left Lagos on wed last week and got back Sunday evening, but i only finally relaxed around Sunday morning!!

There were just too many things to deal with, and i was constantly having (mental) freak outs every hour.
I mean, we had a blast and I'm sure he really enjoyed himself with me but i wonder how relaxed he was. He got to meet my (judgey) South African and Zimbabwean pals and i got to meet his (judgey--i assume) brother who lives in jozi.

Now, this brother of his lives in Morningside, and he INSISTED (read: practically blackmailed and put a gun to my head) that we stay at his place for one night. That wasn't the worst bit though...nope. He lives with his Ethiopian (beautiful) girlfriend.
Now, we show up at their house on our last night in jozi (saturday) and i immediately notice the elephant in the room...these two were embroiled in the biggest fight i have ever not been a part of. (just as a side note, i had met them the night before and immediately made the mental observation that HE is WAAAAY more in love with this girl than she is with him)
Anyway, so we show up and they aren't even talking to each other. GREAT. So we go into our room and i look at the Boyf with my all-knowing-wise-ass look and say "and u think this is gonna be fun?"..in retrospect, this was not a wise thing for me to say. The last thing we needed was for us to be fighting and our hosts to be near killing each other.

Anywho, (this is a long story but i have to share...i cant believe i lived through this), we had planned to go to a party that The brothers' close friend was throwing...fair enough. Needless to say, the boyf's brother and his Mrs are not even talking and are using the boyf and i to communicate. I have to say, the tension was getting to me, so i pulled the boyf aside at the party and told him this was making me uncomfortable...he didn't seem phased at all. "you're gonna have to grin and bear it coz we're staying with them and my brother really loves this girl"

So, at like 3 we leave the party and the Future sister in law is driving coz the boys were wasted...and im in the passenger seat in front..she turns to me and says.. in a voice louder than is necessary "You guys are more than welcome to have sex in our house, it'll be the first hard on and real orgasm in the house in three months"...Needless to say i didn't say A THING. Meanwhile, alcohol fuelled boyf (mine) in the back laughs REALLY loud and says oh please, girl, maybe u should shave your mustache and he'll be attracted to you ha?!

Second realisation about the boyf: HE JUST HAS TO HAS, TO HAS TO SPEAK WHEN I NEED HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP...EVEN IF ITS TRUE...

ps.. YES...we did have sex--incase you were wondering.



All in all the trip was fun...and we had a blast. Apart from the "babe-you're gonna spend R700 on shoes?" and "babe, I'm hungry" (every 2 hours) "babe ugh, is there a chair in here" and "babe, the first one you tried on was the nicest one"..the boyf and i really had a bonding experience and i completely appreciated his amazing need to take care of me and make me laugh and not stop me from spending insane amounts of money at Nine West, and making my (judgey) friends laugh.


oh boy...i think I'm in love.

*UNWRITTEN*